Umm.. yea.. hi?

So I really forgot about this blog until someone at work mentioned it, and felt the need to update it.

Address:

Since the last blog, I have moved back home with the parents in Virginia.

School:

I did not graduate from NYU. I am on a leave of absence. I am probably never going back because I feel like I was treated unkindly. I still have bills from them.

Work:

I got laid off of my job at TKTS a week before I moved. I have returned to my old job/home at Busch Gardens. I am the Vending Unit Supervisor. I kinda love it.

Love life:

Still single and crushing.

That is all.

I work at TKTS

So today was my first day back at work post-surgery. I snagged someone's Sunday morning shift on a whim and figured that since I was able to walk the city yesterday, I should be good enough for a five hour shift It was kind of a good Sunday shift because it was half "I've never seen a Broadway show" and half "I've seen just about every Broadway show". There were some sprinkles of "what's the best show on Broadway" and "I want something funny."

Funny how a week away from work is exactly the same as the week I left. Fun note that I was wearing my "Hooray for Boobies" shirt and probably helped us sell at least five of them at the theater.

Jamba Juice still rocks

Seacrest out!

Sometimes.. All Times.. Mom Knows Best

Today was an interesting day. I feel as if medical facilities should not be closed during the holidays because that's when me and the fam. tend to get the most sick. That and during hurricanes. While I was out and about the city buying up bookstores and reconnecting with old friends, my mom texted me to call her when I got home. Long story short, she mentioned that in my journey of life in the past two years I've made it clear to some, but not all, who I was, am, and want to be. But that during that journey, I've not always included my family. Mostly, my facebook friends have been reaping the benefits of knowing about why I decided to transition and all the different medical protocols I've gone through.

I feel like the family is the hardest entity for me to discuss gender stuff with, but I have a family reunion coming up in about two months and have to really start thinking about what that'll look like as far as me explaining things to everyone. I think it's hardest because what defines "me" goes beyond my presentation, but it just happens to be the focus of a lot of my energies at the time. By July, I could be worried about mosquito bites and sunburns.

It also made me think about why I started this blog. Mostly, I'm a fan of Autostraddle (This Girl Called Epic Win) and wanted to play off of her writings (which are awesome). Mostly, I wanted to be able to share my experiences as a person in NYC. It was going to have a theme of whatever I wanted to talk about. Maybe I'd post once. Maybe a dozen times. I knew I would end up talking about my gender and theater because that's been giving me the most satisfaction over the past few months. Also, if you know my friends, that's all we talk about in person.

Don't really have much else to say.

K

Today's Discovery About Not Having Boobs

I can feel my heart through my chest really easily without the barrier of boobs. People in public may think I'm about to have a heart attack or pledge allegiance due to the number of times I've grabbed where my left boob would've been just to feel that awesome heartbeat.

Also, I feel a bit like a pornstar with how often I've flashed my chest online so peeps can see. There's no point in my showing the nipples because they're going to change the most over the next month.

And for those keeping track of the medications I'm on:

I'm taking oxycodone which is for general pain. I only have one pill left so I'm trying to save it for a special occasion. I'm also on a generic form of valium, which is a muscle relaxer. I take this three times a day, but mostly I find it most helpful after I've been using my arms and chest for awhile and then just need to chill out and let them recover from all the movement. I'm also on this nausea reliever that has too long of a name because I used to get a lot of morning sickness. I didn't use it this morning because I found that actually eating breakfast may be the more holistic care package. I'm also taking one of those chewable multivitamins that taste like Starburst that give me my needed Vitamin D, C, E, and Zinc amongst others, which will help my healing time.

Now, the nipples require their own special care regimen, but it's actually pretty simple. I'm now allowed to shower with my back to the water so I just give them a light soap and water treatment with a rinse. Once I'm out of the shower then I treat them with some bactin (?), which is an antibacterial that looks like petroleoum jelly. Then I put this yellow sticky flypaper lookalike thing over each nipple and seal them up with an ouchless bandage. I also put these bandages around my drains so that if any leaks happen it doesn't go onto my clothes.

I'm also able to cook and dress myself, but I'm supposed to get my drains out by Tuesday which means that it'll be a bajillion times easier to get dressed and then maybe I can tackle some of this laundry that has pilled up over the past three weeks.

Until next time stalkers ;)
K

Post-Surgery Day One

Hey everyone!

I heard some folks actually read this thing, so I figure I'd update it as soon as I took my first nap from home. I am officially boob-less and walking around the house with my shirt off. I still have dressings on and drains to collect nastiness for at least a week.

To describe the surgery, I'd have to actually remember it. I arrived at the hospital around 6a dehydrated and craving food, which no one would give me. I was in high spirits otherwise. I met everyone on my surgical team and my anesthesia team. The operating room was cold, but I was only conscious in there until they wrapped me in warm blankets and gave me relaxing drugs. I didn't wake up until I was in the recovery room where I craved popsicles and pain killers. I maybe only had about 30 seconds of nausea which came from a combination of feeling pain across my chest and needing to potty (I just couldn't do the bedpan thing). Even though I was out of surgery by one p.m. I didn't get to my room until around 6pm. I had an awesome view of the FDR and the Chrysler building. TV had become free since a week prior, and I had to take deep breaths from this machine to clear the drugs from my lungs. I have to say that I had an awesome care team and really didn't feel too much pain afterwards, or even now. Apparently it varies for everyone. I got to see my chest for a brief moment this morning and I think it looks awesome. I am going to hopefully have visiting nurses from Tuesday through Friday to help care for the dressings, drains, and whatever else they can help with.

Right now, I'm just trying to take it easy and rest when I can. It's kinda hard when there are so many good movies on, but I have all my alarms set for my meds. I'm currently on an antibiotic, Valium, and Perocet. So far Valium has been the most help because I've been getting random muscle spasms, but I'm trying not to rely too much on the pain meds since I'm pretty tolerant without them.

Until next time folks!

K

It's Mah Birthday

I'm 24. Carry on.

Spinning By

This weekend is almost to an end. I haven't gotten any homework done, which hopefully will be remedied by bedtime. I need to do laundry, but honestly couldn't see myself out of the house. I suspect that tomorrow the internship is going to be so lame. I'm applying to jobs now with the help of my friends and therapist who tell me not to be afraid of my availability. I'm worried that I'll have to move out of New York City without being able to accomplish all that I wanted. I'm afraid of going back to school to study theater. I'm afraid of being a fuck up.